About

I am about to embark on a road trip adventure with my family. I quit my job, we are selling our house, we have rented an RV and will be traveling around the country for three months before moving to Colorado.

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How I picture myself. Might not be able to take that fur vest with me though.

ME

Just your standard working mom here with two small children, a husband, a house and literally no time to do anything. This trip is a pretty stark difference from my standard day-to-day which is: wake up before the sun comes up, rush, rush, rush, make 11 meals before 8am, take the train to the city, work, work, work, leave work at exactly 4:55, train back home, dinner, baths, books, bed, brush teeth, Netflix, sleep.

So, after years of being in full stress and anxiety mode, we are doing something… well super stressful and anxiety provoking, but in a good way, because it’s new and different.

But enough of that, because let’s face it… that is basically all of us. Every  mom lives that exact same day, everyday. I mean, don’t all of us just want to just pass out with mascara caked under our eyes and an empty wine glass in our hand at like 8:30 every night? I don’t really do that, but it’s not totally out of the question.

MY MAIN MAN

Anyway, so my super awesome husband, who has been staying home with the kids everyday for like seven years while I sling advertising in the city, is totally onboard with this and has found us an amazing RV with BUNK BEDS, people. If you ever want to sell a six and three-year-old on literally anything, just include bunk beds and they are totally onboard. Their favorite part of our Disneyland trip last year? Hotel bunk beds. Seriously. Ever been in line for Peter Pan and your kids are just begging you to go back to the hotel bunk beds?

THAT RV LIFE

So we’ve got the RV, we’ve got the bunks. Did I mention that my husband is super safety conscious? So he has fully researched the safety issues with car seats in an RV. FYI – not safe at all, basically. I’ll be following behind. Which should make it easier to drive – for him because he won’t have two children requesting snacks and songs every 3-5 seconds from the backseat, but hey people, this was my idea. So I am ready to drive that Jeep 55 mph behind an RV for like 6,000 miles. NBD. It’s going to be awesome. I just need to refill that windshield spray stuff and I am ready to roll.

Oh, and we are selling our house. That’s happening. So we will be packing up everything we own – that my husband doesn’t let me throw away,  because I am pretty much the opposite of a hoarder. I love throwing things away. So we box all that shit up, put it in like five of those Pods a single pod because those things are like $4,000 each. I vote to just sell the futons because I mean futons? When you do a fresh start, do you really bring the futons along? It just doesn’t feel right.

So, hopefully we get a buttload of money for our house and we parlay that into a regular priced house somewhere else + me not having to configure anymore ads on website like ever, ever again, because it’s fun, but it’s really not that fun – in case you were thinking of trying it.

So we’ve got the RV situation under control. We’ve got an agent for the house. That’s all good. We will have to homeschool our lovely children on the road, so that will be interesting.

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ROADSCHOOLING

For the six, soon to be seven-year-old, I have to 1.) get him to listen to me. First step is not going as well as planned. Also, it would be GREAT if he could stop telling me what to do and complaining. That would be just fantastic and make this whole trip a lot easier. Last week I practice/tried homeschooling and it took like 90 minutes to get him to write one sentence. So, things are going well. I think I just need to buy a math workbook and some shit like that. And maybe do some chakra chanting IDK.

The other child is basically learning how to cut and glue and draw shapes, which I am SUPER good at! Lucky him. I will teach him all I know and he will be the smartest three-year-old ever.

So that’s good. Also, there is some official stuff you have to do. Paperwork and files and whatnot, but honestly it seems pretty simple. If the Amish can do it, so can I, or maybe they are exempt. Who knows?

MONEY

Haven’t fully got this one figured out yet, but see above note about selling house for buttload and that should cover us for a bit.

NOT KILLING EACH OTHER

This is my primary concern. It’s not like we can even take really long showers to get away from each other since RVs have limited water (I think), so I’m just going to buy some running shoes and work on my exercise. I will be super fit and happy and just so, so chill.

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I keep replaying National Lampoon’s Family Vacation in my head over and over. Source: Words Color Cooking and Clothes

THEN THE MOVE

At some point this trip will be over and, if we accomplish that last point, we will be looking for a house in Colorado or somewhere else and then we will be back to our totally normal lives, but with some crazy perspective, right? Like all the houses will look SO BIG after living in an RV for three months. And perspective on life too, I imagine.

So it’s going to be great. And if it is actually great, this was totally my idea. If it’s not so great/super evil, it’s totally Sam’s idea.

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If all goes as planned, our road trip will end in Colorado
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